Ellie hams it up Posted by Hello

A bath heals all wounds

As you can tell, it's been a looooong hard day here. It started off when Ellie woke up in a wet diaper and didn't want to take it off to put underwear on. It just went down hill from there. . . Daddy had to go back to work, Mommy wouldn't let her have any more lolli pops and no cookies for breakfast, Nate wanted to play with all her toys. . . she drew on herself, spilled water all over the floor and tripped on it, refused to pick up her toys, threw a ball at Nate's head and made him cry. . . you get the idea.

By 12:45, Ellie and I were at odds with each other. We were both in tears crying, "I loooooooove you," and trying to make ourselves feel better. I called Dustin since I was going crazy and was telling him about how hard our day was when I realized I could hear running water. I run back into our bathroom and there is Ellie drawing herself up a bath. And not any bath -- a cold bath (she know she's only allowed to play with the cold water handle). I asked her what was she doing and she told me, "Baths make me feel better."

Of course I emptied the bath right away. . . and then drew her up a nice warm one (you were thinking I made her get out of the tub weren't you??? I'm not THAT mean of a mom). Nate hopped in for a little while too. Apparently, a bath does work wonders.

Breaking hearts is hard to do

"You're breaking my heart!" This is Ellie's newest phrase. Daddy has to go to work . . . "You're breaking my heart, Dad." Mommy puts Ellie to bed . . . "You're breaking my heart, Mom."

My favorite, however, was this morning. Not only did ELlie get out 5 rolls of toilet paper and unroll them all over the house while I was taking care of Nate, she also ate 3 lollipops. When I picked up the toilet paper and made her throw away all the wrappers, she asked for a cookie. Uh noooooooooooo! To which Ellie replies, "But I'm soooooooo hungry. You're breaking my heart."


Common Sense PSA

We attended a birthday party last night that was a tad surreal. You'd think most of my folloeing advice would be common sense, but apparently not. So, here are some lessons I think we could all learn:

1. Never read out loud the amount of your gift checks.

2. When people tell you not to read the amount out loud, don't scream, "I don't care about money anyway, what a stupid gift." Especially when the people who gave you the checks are in the room.

3. Never call the birthday cards people pick out for you "cheesey."

4. If you receive a set of switch blade knives for your birthday, don't open them and then leave them lying around for the small children to play with.

5. When you receive a used video game, don't tell the person that bought it for you that they should have gotten you a NEW one since those only cost $20.

6. Always remember to say thank you. Epescially if you've insulted the gifts you were given.

Some other random tips of advice. I won't say what on earth prompted these, but I'm guessing you can probably make the coonection.

1. People who have children might know more about conception than you learned in your health class. Don't make snide comments about them under your breath.

2. Calling an extended family member, "Idiot," isn't very polite.

3. "Kids eat outside" does not mean, you get to stay inside because you want to and the adults can stand. Anyone under 16 should be OUTSIDE!

4. Don't show your report card unless the grades are worth showing off.

5. You can't give yourself a nickname. They are given *to* you. But if you *do* give yourself one, pick a cooler animal than a possum.


Tag! You're it!

Once a month, I scrapbook with a bunch of girls from my "old" ward (the wards were realigned in February). Our last crop happened to fall on Friday the 13th. Before hand, we had talked about pranks we could pull and had tossed around a few ideas but nothing stuck. Finally the night of the crop arrived and we still had no idea what to do. Someone came up with the idea that we should "mark" the doors of the girls who hadn't made it to scrap that night. We ended up making red X's to stick on their doors. The girls who didn't show up, however, weren't able to come because their husbands were on the Stake father-son camp out. We thought maybe just a red X on the door while their husbands were out of town might be a bit scary to wake up to, so we tossed around ideas of what we could possibly write on it. I'll spare you some of our "funnier" suggestions (it was LATE and we were punchy), but we ended up writing, "Tag! You're it," on the X's. We weren't sure what it meant, but it sounded friendly enough and it was getting to be midnight already. The next morning, 25 houses woke up to find a large red X on their door. A few of the girls knew we had been scrapbooking and immediately pinned the crime on us, but most people were thoroughly confused -- just like we had planned it. And that was the end of it.

Last night there is a knock at our door. Dustin opens the door and there is a plate of brownies with a little poem reading:

Tag! You're it!

This plate of goodies is sent to you--
By someone in the ward, and you don't know who.

Your job is to pass it on next time --
To spread the love and make someone feel fine.

Just attach this little note to the plate you send,
Maybe some broken heart you will mend.

So Tag, You're it! It doesn't have to be extrodinnaire--
Just keep it going to show you care!

And on our door?? You guessed it! A red X (in my OWN handwriting no less).


Food Posted by Hello

I get Punk'd

Apparently Aunt Jo and Ellie share more than just disdain for emptying the dishwasher -- they are masters of working the bribe.

May 22nd, 6 pm. I'm talking to Dad on the phone. Ellie gets on briefly and talks to Papa. Of course when Grandma is on the phone, Ellie is at the height of silliness and she refuses to talk to her. So like all good mothers do, I offer Ellie a bribe -- if she'll talk to Grandma, I'll give her a lollipop. I know a dum-dum isn't as great as $15, but when you're three, they might as well be the same thing. Ellie is literally RUNNING to the phone to talk to Grandma. She's singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," hamming up the way only Ellie can and then ends, "Bye. I love you too." I promptly reward her with a cherry sucker.

May 22nd, 6:45 pm. I'm talking with Great Grandma on the phone. Nate is babbling, "Dadadadadada," in his sweet little voice and so of course Great Grandma gets to hear. Ellie appears at my side, "I want to talk to Grandma." Imagine the look of shock on my face. Ellie is *asking* to talk on the phone? I don't even have to bribe her? Of course, I'm thrilled and hand Ellie the phone. "HiGrandma.I'mwatchingTV.Bye.Iloveyoutoo." Ellie squeals as she runs into the kitchen yelling, "LOLLIPOP."

And so I was Punk'd. . . by a three year old.


Ellie's rough day

I just asked Ellie if she would help me unload the dishwasher. She looked at me with an exasperated look and explained, "I've had a hard day mom. I'm just too sad."

Nice try sweetie! These would be the contents of Ellie's "hard" day:

8 am Wake up for the day, eat some breakfast, watch a show . . .

9:45 Leave for playgroup. Pay in the water, run around with her buddies, eat snacks, get naked. . .

11:40 Head home

12 pm Kenzie and Kade come over for lunch and bring McDonald's. Run around, scream, make a mess, spill bubbles all over the entire floor, slam a few doors, take every book out of the book shelf, lock Kade out of every room, get completely naked (AGAIN), play dress up, take a few bites of food, blow some bubbles in soda, jump on furniture, fight over shoes. . .

2:30 Kade and Kenzie leave. Take a nap.

5 pm Wake up. Go over to Natalie's next door and play some more. . .

6:30 Mom asks you to empty the dishwasher. Insist you've had a hard day and tell mom you're sad. Cry when this gets you put in time out for not doing your chores.

Now you're really sad.


My Target Mom

So yesterday my girlfriend and I took the kids to Target. While we're there, I find this adorable little lamp WITH shade for $15 marked down from $40. What a deal. We wonder around some more, find a few more deals and head up to the check stand to pay. When we get there Kerry surveys the lanes and says, "I can't use the Express lane. That checker always sees my kids at their worst and mothers me." Some wonderful tips from this cashier included telling Kerry maybe her kids needed a nap. Or coming later in the morning when they've had time to "cheer up" might be better. So I volunteer to go through her lane since my little ones are being angels. BIG mistake.

Here is our conversation as she reaches for my lamp to ring up:
Target Mom: I'm going to have to check on this. I think this price only includes the lamp.
Me: OK. I'm pretty sure it includes the shade, though, since there was another one sitting next to it with the exact same shade.
Target Mom: I'm still going to have to check.
Me: OK.
Target Mom: Usually the shades come separately.
Me: Sometimes they do. But usually there's a price tag on the shade then.
Target Mom: I'm going to have to check.
Me: OK, whatever, I'm easy.
Target Mom: You'd think there would be plastic wrapped around both pieces if they came together.
Me: OK, just check
Target Mom: Let me ring it up and look at the description.
Me: OK

Target Mom scans item

Target Mom: It just says lamp. Usually it would read Lamp with Shade.
Me: OK, can you check?
Target Mom: Let me look at the tag. $40, marked to $15?
Me: It was originally $40, seems like a lot to pay for just a table top lamp base.

Target Mom looks at me like I'm trying to get away with something and decides that maybe the $15 DOES cover the lamp and shade.

Target Mom: I think you should just carry this to the car so it doesn't get broken.
Me: Will it fit in a bag? It's just easier to carry to the car with two kids and all.
Target Mom: I guess we have a large bag.
Me: Thanks.

Target mom gets out large bag. Looks at it, deciding how best to put the lamp in.

Target Mom: I think you should put the bag over the top so the lamp shade doesn't get smooshed.
Me: I think it will be alright if we just put the lamp in it.

Please remember this lamp is only freaking $15 and from TARGET no less -- not really worried about the lamp shade staying pristine. So Target Mom places the lamp in the bag and rings up the other TWO purchases I have -- formula and a princess crown from the $1 section. She then places each item in separate bags. Wouldn't want the dollar crown to get smooshed! I am putting my BAGS (yes, three bags for three items) in the cart when I reached for the lamp bag.

Target Mom: I don't think you should carry it by the handles. I think you should hold it up by the base.

Silence. By this point I could freaking care less about the lamp and I think it had taken me 10 minutes to check out. I picked up the lamp by the base, thanked her and threw it in the cart. It would later be tossed around in the back seat as we drove home. Amazingly it escaped unharmed! Must have been the bag ;)

As we're stuffing bags and kids into the car, I giggle to Kerry that I can't WAIT to tell her about my checking out experience. Kerry groans, "On no, did she mother your children too?" To which I can only reply, "WORSE! She mothered ME."

And so I retell the story as we wait in line at Del Taco to get the kids some food (wonder what Target Mom would think of this). Kerry then looks at me and goes, "You know! She mothers me too. Whenever I get candy bars, she reminds me not to leave them in the car because they'll melt."

Thanks Target Mom! Where would be without you??

On a side note, we thought it would be extremely funny to buy some sort of damaged good at Target and then return it to the store and tell them that the cashier hadn't packaged it properly and that we were terribly upset by her lack of concern.


Baby Food

Ellie has been excited with every new milestone of babydom that Nate has paseed through. She smiled when he learned to smile, laughed when he rolled over, pushed him over when he learned to situp and has eagerly taken to his next landmark: baby food.

Before Nate was born, we coached Ellie on what Nate was allowed to eat. "Ellie, can Nate eat cookies?" To which she would reply, "Nooooooooo, only milk." 5 months came and we bought Nate his first box of baby cereal. Ellie watched up mix up the cereal as we explained that Nate could now eat baby food. Ellie nodded and told us that only babies eat baby food and along we went feeding Nate mashed up food with Ellie showing little interest. Until last week.

Dustin was out of town and Ellie and Nate were driving me a little batty. I think they secretly decided to not take a single nap the entire time he was gone. So by Friday, my patience was worn thin. We were at the water park for playgroup and Nate was once again not taking a nap, despite DESPERATELY needing one, so I pulled out the Cherrioes I had brought for Ellie and started feeding them to him. Of course he loved them, but Ellie wasn't so happy about Nate starting to encroach on her food eating territory. Something in her little 3 year old mind clicked and she decided that if Nate was going to eat her food, she would just eat his.

Saturday morning, as Nate is eating his bowl of cereal, Ellie decides that she would like a bite. She comes over, we stick a big old mouth full in and her little nose scrunches up. Refusing to swallow it, she looks for a hand to spit it into. You would think she'd go spit it in the trash when no hand was offered, but no, she continues to sit there with this blob of goo. Finally we convince her to go spit it in the toilet as she tells us, "This is NOT good."

Later that same morning, we bought Nate some of those Veggie Puffs at Target (we like to call them sugar puffs since sugar comes BEFORE sweet potatoes on the ingredients list). As we're back on the road headed to IKEA, Nate starts to fuss, so we hand Ellie a few Veggie Puffs and ask her to give it to Nate. One promptly goes into her mouth. "Yuuuuuuummmmmmm! These are good!" she says as she stuffs the rest of her handful in her mouth. And so the trip to IKEA continues. One for Nate, two handfuls for Ellie. "I like THESE."

And so Ellie learned -- solid food good, mushy food bad. You should see how quickly she runs away when we offer her some smushed up peas, but at the same time we'll find her roaming the hall with the Wagon Wheels (if you had a 6 month old, you would know the names of all the "Babies First Food" line too). The good news is, Nate likes to share and he doesn't care all that much. Food is food (smushed up peas and all) and as long as some is being constantly shoveled into his mouth, he doesn't care what percentage Ellie's taking off the top.

On a side note. Ellie is now a lot less careful about the food she gives Nate. The other night, Nate was laying on the floor fussing while I was trying to do some dinner dishes. I asked Ellie to talk to him and keep him happy. For a few minutes she's over there until suddenly I notice it's completely silent. No Ellie yapping and no Nate screeching. Ellie has gone off to her room to play and Nate is happy on his belly on the floor. So I finish the dishes, clean the counters, mop the floors, go over to get Nate and what do I find? A very happy and slobbering Nate, who was lying on the floor sucking on a cookie his sister had given him to keep him entertained. Thanks Ellie!