My Target Mom

So yesterday my girlfriend and I took the kids to Target. While we're there, I find this adorable little lamp WITH shade for $15 marked down from $40. What a deal. We wonder around some more, find a few more deals and head up to the check stand to pay. When we get there Kerry surveys the lanes and says, "I can't use the Express lane. That checker always sees my kids at their worst and mothers me." Some wonderful tips from this cashier included telling Kerry maybe her kids needed a nap. Or coming later in the morning when they've had time to "cheer up" might be better. So I volunteer to go through her lane since my little ones are being angels. BIG mistake.

Here is our conversation as she reaches for my lamp to ring up:
Target Mom: I'm going to have to check on this. I think this price only includes the lamp.
Me: OK. I'm pretty sure it includes the shade, though, since there was another one sitting next to it with the exact same shade.
Target Mom: I'm still going to have to check.
Me: OK.
Target Mom: Usually the shades come separately.
Me: Sometimes they do. But usually there's a price tag on the shade then.
Target Mom: I'm going to have to check.
Me: OK, whatever, I'm easy.
Target Mom: You'd think there would be plastic wrapped around both pieces if they came together.
Me: OK, just check
Target Mom: Let me ring it up and look at the description.
Me: OK

Target Mom scans item

Target Mom: It just says lamp. Usually it would read Lamp with Shade.
Me: OK, can you check?
Target Mom: Let me look at the tag. $40, marked to $15?
Me: It was originally $40, seems like a lot to pay for just a table top lamp base.

Target Mom looks at me like I'm trying to get away with something and decides that maybe the $15 DOES cover the lamp and shade.

Target Mom: I think you should just carry this to the car so it doesn't get broken.
Me: Will it fit in a bag? It's just easier to carry to the car with two kids and all.
Target Mom: I guess we have a large bag.
Me: Thanks.

Target mom gets out large bag. Looks at it, deciding how best to put the lamp in.

Target Mom: I think you should put the bag over the top so the lamp shade doesn't get smooshed.
Me: I think it will be alright if we just put the lamp in it.

Please remember this lamp is only freaking $15 and from TARGET no less -- not really worried about the lamp shade staying pristine. So Target Mom places the lamp in the bag and rings up the other TWO purchases I have -- formula and a princess crown from the $1 section. She then places each item in separate bags. Wouldn't want the dollar crown to get smooshed! I am putting my BAGS (yes, three bags for three items) in the cart when I reached for the lamp bag.

Target Mom: I don't think you should carry it by the handles. I think you should hold it up by the base.
Me:

Silence. By this point I could freaking care less about the lamp and I think it had taken me 10 minutes to check out. I picked up the lamp by the base, thanked her and threw it in the cart. It would later be tossed around in the back seat as we drove home. Amazingly it escaped unharmed! Must have been the bag ;)

As we're stuffing bags and kids into the car, I giggle to Kerry that I can't WAIT to tell her about my checking out experience. Kerry groans, "On no, did she mother your children too?" To which I can only reply, "WORSE! She mothered ME."

And so I retell the story as we wait in line at Del Taco to get the kids some food (wonder what Target Mom would think of this). Kerry then looks at me and goes, "You know! She mothers me too. Whenever I get candy bars, she reminds me not to leave them in the car because they'll melt."

Thanks Target Mom! Where would be without you??

On a side note, we thought it would be extremely funny to buy some sort of damaged good at Target and then return it to the store and tell them that the cashier hadn't packaged it properly and that we were terribly upset by her lack of concern.