Confessions

Dustin has been out of town this week. I miss his terribly. I love my husband. . . But there are two glorious things that I love when he is out of town.

1. Bedtime! I am a *really* bad sleeper. I have a hard time falling asleep and I wake up at the slightest noise. Once I'm up my mind starts making lists and thinking about all the things I can't change in the world and what I should be doing to prepare for Christmas and if I should reorganize the closet and when am I going to clean out the garage. . . and I can't get back to sleep.

This also means that I shove poor Dustin all night long. I just know I would stop thinking about needing to add shampoo to my shopping list if he weren't breathing so loudly. And why does he hate me? I just shoved him and he didn't roll over and he's *still* breathing loudly. And then he rolls over and starts making a *new* noise. And will I ever fall back asleep? His alarm is going to go off at 4 am. Should I check the time or will the light from my clock wake me up more? Maybe I should go to the bathroom so I won't wake up again if I ever fall asleep.

But when he's gone, it is so silent. It's like my mind knows there is no one to wake me up and it shuts off.
2. Messy House Day. Dustin works from home when he is in town. This means that I am ever fearful that he is going to walk out of the office to grab a drink of water and find the living room floor covered in toys and me sitting on the couch reading a book. Or checking my e-mail when there are crumbs on the counter.

I should take a moment to point out that Dustin does.not.care. Really. He has in fact told me that he thinks I'm crazy for cleaning the counters 5 times a day and I should just do it once after dinner. I, however, am much happier when things are always tidy.

Anyway, I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep everything perfect in the house when he is home. I feel like he is working really hard and he should be greeted with a very lovely looking home when he walks out. Which he does about a million times a day because I do not bring him snacks or water or lunch. Maybe I should start doing all that and he'd never come out???

The second he leaves town, I have one big fat lazy day. I don't get dressed at all. I let the kids make forts and not pick them up at night. I leave the counters a mess until after dinner. I read a book and watch TV and ignore the laundry. I cook one meal and make it stretch for 4 days of leftovers. And then I madly scramble the day before he comes home to make sure everything is perfect again.

This little trip coincided with the 2nd week of break, so it has been REALLY been glorious because we've had literally nowhere to go. Like I'm blogging from bed at 7:21 in the morning instead of making breakfast and packing lunches.