Scuttlebutt here. AKA the lucky sister of Maddy the Jet Rogers. Nick name made up on the spot. Today Maddy turns 29! Or somewhere in the early 30s, you decide. A couple weeks ago the relief society made the BOLD choice to highlight the bishop's wife and she shirked the task of self description off to ME. Apparently it was a little lengthy and at some points not so much inappropriate as church inappropriate so it was stripped to its bare bones. So in the name of the free press, journalism and the Constitution as a whole, here it is printed in its entirety AND uncensored in honor of Maddy's special day.

The Life and Times of Maddy Rogers

Maddy Rogers was born quickly. This detail may seem irrelevant, but that just means you don't know Maddy Rogers. From the very moment she entered this world she was exhibiting some strangely subhuman behavior-- the ability to do things at the most rapid of paces. What takes you an hour will take her a minute and what takes you a minute, she has already done.

She was born in Portland, Oregon to really attractive parents, no surprise there, Maddy Rogers is gorgeous. From there her attractive family state hopped for awhile before they decided to start continent hopping-- Korea, Austria and then BYU, oh my!

Maddy spent her youth in really embarrassing haircuts forced upon her by her mother. She also participated in some unique extracurriculars like ribbon dancing and sibling rivalries. When she was seven years old her very favorite person was born, her sister!

Maddy went to international schools, this she credits for making her a genius. Do not ask her to measure distances: inches, miles and yards will make her eyes unwillingly cross. Fun fact: she is the only one in her entire family with perfect eyesight!

Many people wonder if there is anything Maddy is NOT good at. The answer is... No. Her high school yearbook will show her smiling face on at least fifteen pages: model un, plays, cross country, honors societies, most talkative, biggest flirt, cutest person ever... You get the drill.

She did have detention once. It involved a paper airplane.

She took her SATs in the Slovak republic. She backpacked through Europe. Her hotel room was under video surveillance in Russia. She delivered a baby naturally. She is a superhero, seriously. She can’t remember the last time she ate a bagel.

She graduated high school without a driver's license and headed off to her holy land,

-- Provo, Utah. She is a true blue cougar. She will cut herself so you can see her bleed blue. This is not a joke.

While at BYU she met her giant husband by offering to let him host her birthday party in his apartment. They were married in the Idaho Falls Temple and had a backyard reception complete with barbecue and a mariachi band. Just kidding, they wanted the band but someone in the chain of command nixed it. Thankfully.

Maddy then started teaching fourth grade but decided to pop out their first baby (the gorgeous Ellie Rogers) smack dab in the middle of the school year. Okay, April... She finished out the year. She cleverly had the infant Ellie Rogers poop on grandma's Rolex so it would be gifted to Ellie in the will.

From then on she took on the task of being the world's greatest mother ever. Nate, the handsome, was born the day they moved into their current house involving a hilarious incident with taco bell, the famous Sadie came a few years later and then fireball Luke brings up the rear.

If you've ever been in the Rogers' home, you know it is a place full of love, laughter, volume and charisma. A lot of volume. Maddy is selfless and makes everything she does a little better. When she isn't baking goodies for her family and a small third world country she is volunteering at her kid's school, organizing the most fantastic of parties, running thirty miles at the gym and then outside, starting book clubs, teaching her children the gospel and school-esque things and somehow finding time to serve others.

There isn't enough time in a short synopsis to even begin to list her innumerable fantastic qualities or all the interesting facts in her life or go into detail on the question on everyone's mind-- when DID she get her driver's license??

Most people who have spent a minute with her love her and if you've sent five minutes with her you love, love her. Her energy for life really is superhuman and it is contagious. In the fifth grade her sister wrote her "hero" essay on Maddy... Nothing has changed! Although let it be known Maddy explained a certain puberty related condition to her sister in such grotesque terms that when her sister experienced said condition she had no clue it was actually happening…

If you don't know Maddy, you're missing out. And if you don't know her four incredible children, I'm sure you've at least heard them, you should probably offer to babysit them... They're pretty awesome themselves.


Unknown said...

Your sister did a great job describing you Maddy. Happy Birthday! -Melissa Lee

Molly said...

I will have you know that Maddy read it to me in it's entirety when you first sent it to her and I thought it was hillarious! Happy Birthday Maddy! Love the cute pics!

The Tyler's said...

I wish I had a fraction of your sisters writting talent!! You both are so amazing. Happy Birthday and can't wait to see you next month.

Lisa Brown said...

So much fun to read! And I remember when you had Ellie, because we were both teaching 4th grade at the same time, and I remember thinking how hard that must of been. Then I went and did the same exact thing the next year :).